Every family certainly does not want the fabric of a household that has been painstakingly built to end in divorce. Many factors are the reasons for a divorce. Therefore, minimizing the causal factors is one of the things that must be done by every married couple.
Whatever the reason, divorce will always leave sadness. The impact of divorce is not only experienced by husband and wife. What is more severe is the impact on children’s psychology. Therefore, divorce should be avoided as much as possible.
- Find the Source
There is smoke, there must be fire. So is the case with domestic life. The decision to divorce is certainly not without cause. Therefore, look for the source of this. If the source of the problem can be found, try to solve it well. Because every problem certainly has a way out.
Whatever problems are the source of divorce decisions to be taken, you should consider carefully. Because, if we have found the source of the problem, then the right decision will be made, whether to continue the decision to divorce or not.
If you already know the reason why you or your husband wants to get a divorce, try to reflect. This is often difficult. Because each partner must feel he is the right one. They will not be able to accept the fact that they are the root cause of divorce intentions. Maybe you are embarrassed to admit honestly your shortcomings, but try to answer honestly with yourself that what your partner says is true. While there is still time, why don’t you try to fix it from now on? Of course, the husband must do the same. It could be, which makes the marriage become shaky and not harmonious anymore.
- Don’t raise the problem
If you and your husband already know the source of the noise and conflict in the household, you should not increase the problem. Also, don’t look for new problems. Because this will actually make the atmosphere worse. If you realize the shortcomings that exist, there is no harm in apologizing. No need to be shy and try to be a good wife as expected by the husband. Try to find the best solution.
- Separate temporarily
Although it seems very unpleasant, this method can be the best way to avoid divorce. Temporarily separating will help husband and wife to reassure themselves and assess, what decisions should be taken. Why do you have to separate the house? Because, two hearts that are both hot, you should not meet every day. If you meet every day, what happens is not improve, instead, it will even get hotter. It might make a lot of noise and there is no meeting point. What is discussed every day will surely return to that problem. You can for example “evacuate” first to the parents ‘house, while your husband first moves to his parents’ house. Separating the house will help cool the heart that is heating up, so you and your husband can think clearly.
Regardless, communication is the foundation of a relationship, including relationships in marriage. Without communication, relationships cannot survive. So, no matter how heavy the situation you are facing, you should still do communication with your partner. Even after you and your husband both live separately, try to stay in touch. Try to discuss together, what are the best steps you can both take to avoid divorce, to maintain the household debt. It’s not easy, but if you have separated for a while, the hot situation might have passed, so you are both ready to communicate. Don’t feel embarrassed or proud to contact each other.
- Involve the family
If in fact, the partner is unable to communicate or always tries to avoid it, try to involve family members who are really close to him. Parents, siblings or uncles for example. Anyway, anyone, you feel you can talk to. Of course, you should never cover the root problems that exist with them, but be frank. Also say, what you really lack or lack of a husband. Who knows, this mediator can soften your heart and your partner while finding a solution to reunite.